Deus ex Machina
by Lethargy
Summary: She was a healer. Fighter. Friend. And now, thanks to Urahara, stuck in a completely different world until she finds her way back. Luckily, ninja die all the time, so finding a shinigami shouldn't be too hard, right? As long as she can stop bringing people back to life...


_**Deus Ex Machina**_

**Disclaimer: **Mine to play with, not to own.

-ooo-

**chapter 01: desert fall**

"Um, Urahara-san," Orihime said innocently. "Isn't this a strange place to hold a tea party?"

"Now, now, my dear Orihime," said Urahara from across the table. "Just because it hasn't been done before doesn't mean we shouldn't try."

Orihime blinked and took a sip of her tea as she eyed their surroundings doubtfully. She'd received a letter yesterday inviting her to a "**ONE DAY ONLY: TRIPLE SSS** (**S**uper **S**ecret **S**pecial) **EVENT!**" at Urahara's shop. With the Winter War over and all of her _shinigami _friends back at their posts, she had spare time to drop by. At first, she thought today was part of Urahara's training program, but the man had insisted he just wanted the 'pleasure of her company' for one afternoon.

So now they were sitting at a little table in his underground basement, surrounded by flat, gray walls and a tall, bare ceiling, sipping milk tea and eating raspberry-jam cookies covered with powdered sugar.

There was also, Orihime noted, a small metal box sitting innocuously in the center of the table. Knowing that the man would get to the point eventually, Orihime contented her stomach with another cookie from the generous supply.

Fifteen minutes later, when she was happily munching on the last cookie, Urahara smiled and snapped his fingers. Immediately, Jinta and Ururu emerged from a side door-the former pushing a serving trolley, the latter wearing a frilly pink apron. The pair did a quick job clearing off the tea things before retreating. Minutes later, they were back-this time with a trolley laden with a giant basket of sweet potatoes, gourmet cheese, and two jars of red bean paste and butter.

"What's this, Urahara-san?" Orihime asked between mouthfuls of cookie.

Urahara snapped open his fan and chuckled. "Your favorite foods, of course!"

"But...why?"

"Consider it a thank-you gift for a favor!"

"What favor?"

"Why, my dear Orihime, I thought you'd never ask!" Urahara closed his fan and flourished it at the metal box. "Behold, my latest invention! A portal to enter Soul Society!"

"...but Urahara-san, we already have portals to enter Soul Society."

Something glinted in the shopkeeper's eye. "Yes, and they're terribly inconvenient. If it's not paperwork to get a proper Hell Butterfly for the Senkaimon, then it's running for your life through the Dangai. And unfortunately, not all of us have the time to turn Arrancar and make Gargantas whenever we want."

Orihime gave the box a curious glance. "So, what you're saying is that with this box—"

"Ah! Not a box, my dear. A machine! A highly advanced mechanism of the foremost technological order!"

"Right. So with this machine, we'll be able to enter Soul Society?"

"Exactly! Wherever and whenever we want!"

"…isn't that illegal?"

"Not if I get it approved!" _'Not that I will, but—'_ "Don't worry about the details, Orihime-chan! More importantly, if we succeed, we'll be able to save more lives with every crossing!"

That piqued her interest. "Really?"

"Yes! We'd save time, for one thing, and resources, for another, and inconvenience, for a third. All crucial when it comes to life and death battles!" Ururu and Jinta nodded vigorously in the background.

"Then…I guess I can help," Orihime said. "What do you need me to do?"

"Oh, just the usual," Urahara waved his fan merrily. "Reject reality as we know it."

In the end, the explanation bore down to three key points:

1) The box contained a miniature 'tear' in the universe that could access other dimensions.

2) In order to use the 'tear', Urahara needed Orihime to expand the opening with her shield to a reasonable size.

3) Once that was done, he would stabilize the opening and adjust the coordinates to match Soul Society, effectively creating a door that bypassed the logistics and bureaucracy of traditional crossing methods.

"Your Shun Shun Rikka is the key to expanding the opening, Orihime," Urahara explained. "We can't physically touch the tear, in case it sucks us in to the ends of the universe, but your powers, which reject everything, should be immune from its effects."

"How much do we have to expand it?" asked Orihime as she peered into the box. There was something dark and glittering resting in a very hogyoku-like crystal at the depths. Looking closer, she thought it resembled the night sky-jagged black, but speckled with flecks of white like stars.

"Nothing too dramatic. The height and width of a typical doorframe should suffice."

Now that the convincing part was over, Urahara was all business. He'd gotten Jinta and Ururu to set up a safety perimeter before dismissing them from the room. Only the box, furniture, and trolley full of food remained to keep them company.

Orihime studied the contraption for a few more moments before taking a deep breath.

"All right. Let's do it."

-ooo-

In the end, the process was easier than she expected, though slow. Very slow.

Orihime had started by calling on her fairies to form a miniature version of her usual three pointed shield, before sending the shield through the tear and letting it expand, pushing it outwards and upwards. There was some resistance—she was ripping the fabric of time-space, after all—but the task wasn't hard, and she was making steady progress.

Slowly.

The tear was about the size of a window right now. She needed it to be at least three times that.

"How did you manage to make this, Urahara-san?" Orihime asked.

"Oh, it was simple, I assure you," Urahara said, monitoring from a safe distance. "Add a bit of this and that, mix in some spiritual power and a little prodding—presto! Instant portal."

Orihime suspected it was more complicated than _'this and that'_, but didn't get to comment when Tsubaki barked at her to focus and put more power in her shield.

-ooo-

Some time later, Orihime finally managed to grow the portal to Urahara's specifications. The scientist gave a gleeful giggle and told her to wait while he set up the stabilizing seals.

'_It really is unreal,'_ Orihime mused, holding her shield in place while gazing at the 'door' she'd help create. At first glance, it looked like someone had ripped a hole in the air. Everything around the dimensional tear was completely normal—walls, floor and all. But once you saw the tear, it was like looking through a window—where the 'outside' was an endless expanse of black and shimmering lights.

'_I feel like I'm seeing the universe through a telescope,'_ Orihime mused, just as the tear gave a shudder and seem to freeze in place as strange rolls of paper covered in ink seals formed around its wispy, ragged borders.

"You can release your shield now, Orihime." Urahara's quiet voice cut into her thoughts. "It's done."

With a small sigh, Orihime dismissed her fairies, noting victoriously that the effort hadn't even tired her out.

"How are you dong?" Urahara asked.

"Mm…I'm feeling great as ever, Urahara-san!" Orihime turned to give him a broad smile.

"That's good to hear," Urahara nodded in approval. "Now, why don't we—"

He stopped abruptly as a low, rumbling growl reverberated through the room.

"What was that?" Orihime asked, senses alert. It almost sounded like a Hollow, but that was ridiculous, because—

"Orihime!"

She whipped her head towards Urahara. "What—"

—and stumbled back into the trolley, as another tear suddenly materialized in the floor beneath her feet with a low groan. It grew to the size of a manhole before Urahara froze its progress with another series of inked seals.

"This isn't good," Urahara muttered. "Looks like the portal's causing fluctuations in our time-space."

"I thought we stabilized it?" Orihime asked.

Urahara grimaced. "These two, yes. Who knows if there's more—"

He abruptly tensed and leaped to the side as more holes started materializing where he was standing, cursing as the edge of one caught a portion of his sleeve and dissolved it to nothingness.

"Put up your shield!" he barked, throwing seals at the new tears. "I've got a _gigai _but you're in your own body. Don't get anywhere _near _those tears. Get out and get Tessai!"

Orihime nodded, already encased in her shield as she spun around and ran straight for the door—

—or would have, if a gigantic tear hadn't suddenly opened up right in front of her.

"Ah—"

Unable to stop in time, she toppled straight into the portal, even as a roll of inked bandages raced after her in a futile attempt to pull her back—

There was a flash of blinding light and then she was falling, falling, falling….

-ooo-

The silence that reigned in the blue skies overlooking Wind Country's deserts was momentarily broken that afternoon by a low, rumbling roar.

The next moment, a section of the sky seemed to shudder, before violently ripping apart to expel a glowing golden object. It fell to earth with a whump, releasing a fine shower of sand, before the hole in the sky gave a groan and vanished from existence.

Orihime coughed as she sat up, releasing her shield in the process. She looked around her, blinking as she took in the surroundings, confused and a little bruised but otherwise unhurt.

So much sand…how did she end up in the desert?

"Are you all right, Hime?" Shun'o asked, while Ayame dusted sand off her shoulders and the other fairies fluttered in attendance.

"I think so." Orihime replied, looking herself over. "Where are we?"

The last thing she remembered was falling through the portal.

"Well, it ain't Soul Society," Tsubaki snorted from his perch on her head. "Better figure it out fast, before we fry in this heat."

The girl frowned as she climbed to her feet to get her bearings. There really was nothing around her but sand. Mounds and mounds of it, piled high in dunes stretching as far as the eye could see, coupled with blue skies and a scorching sun.

"Hello?" Orihime called hopefully. "Urahara-san?"

Silence. Not even a breeze stirred. It really was very hot…

"Woman, dismiss us before you tire yourself out," Tsubaki snapped. "We can't act as sunblock, and you need to find a way outta here."

"Right." Orihime nodded. In a flash, the six fairies dissipated and returned to the hair clips pinned on her school uniform collar, leaving her completely alone.

Feeling her frown growing, Orihime forced herself to calm down and concentrate. Closing her eyes, she slowly reached out with her spiritual energy, trying to sense any others that were close by.

'_What in the—'_

No. That couldn't be right.

How could the whole desert be filled with _reiatsu_? Eyes flying open, Orihime cupped a handful of sand and concentrated, feeling it pulse back with an unmistakable signature of energy.

It...it wasn't exactly spiritual energy, or a soul or anything but…something told Orihime that the sand was, somehow, _alive_.

How very strange.

'_Maybe this is an alien planet,'_ Orihime mused. _'Oooo…that'd be cool. I've never seen aliens before! I could tell them to take me to their leader, just like the movies! Except in the movies it was the aliens coming to Earth…oh no, does this make __**me**__ an alien, then? But I don't even have a spaceship…'_

'**CONCENTRATE, WOMAN!'**

Orihime winced at Tsubaki's voice in her head. _'Okay, can't get distracted yet.'_

Closing her eyes again, she probed further, trying to find something else, something _different, _from all the energy humming inside the sand. And slowly, she felt it—a hint of something more concentrated, somewhere to her left. But even as she tried to grasp it, it disappeared from her senses, before returning again in erratic spikes. It was like trying to catch a string that kept slipping out of her grip.

Slipping?

That wasn't good.

Brows furrowed, Orihime started running towards the source of the spiritual energy.

'_Please, please, __**please **__let me be wrong about this…'_

She bit her lip.

'_Or if not, let me make it in time.'_

Someone out there was dying.

-ooo-

Orihime saw the large rock outcropping in the distance long before she reached them. That was the source of the fluctuating spirit energy, and her anxiety grew as the energy weakened further with each step.

By the time she scaled the outcropping, Orihime was panting for breath and the energy was down to the barest flicker. But she felt a spark of triumph nonetheless when she saw the form of a man lying facedown at the bottom of a pit.

He was dressed strangely, in large green robes(1), and had brown hair with a medium complexion. Still, there wasn't time to dwell on details as she lowered herself into the pit. Crouching by his side, Orihime touched the man and slowly, gently, turned him over so he was lying on his back.

She sucked in a breath. His breaths were shallow and ragged, his skin cold and clammy to the touch; more importantly, there was a gaping wound in his stomach that had soaked the front of his robes and turned them scarlet.

'_I can do this,'_ Orihime thought, holding back the sudden wave of nausea rising in her throat. Hadn't she seen worse during the war? Restored missing limbs, even? This was nothing in comparison. Only a flesh wound, at most.

Pausing only to glance at the face of the man—he looked to be in his late thirties—Orihime placed her hands above his abdomen and concentrated on calling forth her _reiatsu._

Then, she began to heal.

-ooo-

He awoke feeling rested—more rested than anything else he'd felt in years. It was such a foreign sensation that for a moment he just stopped to marvel it, drinking in the hot, dry desert air that filled his lungs with every breath.

Then, something rustled to the right, and his instincts kicked in, calling forth sand towards the sound even as he bent his legs and elbows to flip onto his feet, stance poised to attack.

He heard the startled cry before he saw her: an orange-haired girl dressed in a gray jacket and skirt, staring up at him with wide eyes. For a moment he wondered why she wasn't trapped in a cocoon of sand; the next second, he had checked his chakra reserves and found them pitifully low, inadequate for his current purposes.

He stared suspiciously at the girl as she got to her feet, seemingly unfazed by his attention as she gave him a wide smile.

"Thank goodness you're feeling better," the girl said. "Any later and I'm afraid you wouldn't have made it."

Memories rose in his head then—the meeting with Orochimaru, _that traitorous snake_—their confrontation in this hole, the sickening feeling of betrayal and anger and blood pooling beneath his fingers as the sword was pulled out of his stomach…

Instinctively, he glanced down at his blood-soaked robes and felt his stomach with one hand. There was no pain, not even when he pressed against the skin, but there wasn't the sensation of bandages, either—and he breathed easily, almost as if…

…as if he'd never been stabbed at all.

"_Kai!"_ he murmured under his breath, trying to dispel whatever _genjutsu _the snake must have cast on him.

Nothing changed, except for the girl blinking at him.

"Um, hi to you too, mister. What's your name?"

He narrowed his eyes at her. "You." A finger pointed menacingly in her direction.

"Speak, girl. Who are you and what did you do?"

To make things more confusing, he couldn't sense any chakra from the girl—either she was exceptional at masking her signature or just a civilian—which made no sense, because what would a civilian be doing here, in the middle of the desert, alone?

"Well, if you want me to go first…" Tilting her head to the side, the girl blinked again, before shrugging. "My name is Orihime Inoue. I found you injured, so I, um…fixed you up."

Impossible. He was—had been, he correctly himself—_dying _from that wound. Nothing short of a miracle—or a medic like the Legendary Sannin Tsunade—could have brought him back from the brink of death. And this, this _girl, _with no hint of chakra, and nothing on her that looked remotely like a medic's kit, claimed that she had saved him?

He refused to believe it.

"What village are you from?" he asked, noting her lack of headband. Even her clothing were unfamiliar to him—they didn't match the garb of any of the Elemental Countries.

To his annoyance, she giggled—_giggled at __**him**__, leader of one of the five Hidden Villages!_—before replying, hands behind her back. "Oh, it's not a village—it's a city. Karakura Town. Have you heard of it?"

Certainly not, and he said as much. In response, the girl frowned. "I see. That's too bad…"

In the meantime, he was discreetly checking his body for any signs of Orochimaru's attack—and getting more and more disconcerted when he could find none.

Could it be that the snake had tricked him into thinking he was stabbed, and then replaced himself with this ridiculous illusion as a ways to lull him into lowering his guard?

"Um, mister, I still don't know your name yet." the girl spoke, "Do you know the way to the nearest town? Or even better, do you have a phone I can borrow? I'm actually…a bit lost."

He stared at her in suspicious silence, thoughts whirling in his head.

'_What is her purpose here? Who does she serve?'_

The girl seemed to sense his unease, because she put up both hands in a placating manner. "Are you feeling okay, mister?"

'_There's one way to find out,' _he decided, before releasing a massive wave of killing intent.

-ooo-

Orihime frowned as she felt a slight chill in the air, wondering where it had come from. Well, deserts _did _get pretty cold at night, but right now the sun was still out.

'_Mister Robes doesn't look too good, though,'_ she thought, peeking at her companion, who had an absolutely ghastly expression on his face.

Along with the chill, there was a subtle pressure weighing on her that reminded her of the oppressive atmosphere between Ichigo and his opponents during the war. But she didn't sense any high spiritual pressures nearby—not even a run-of-the-mill Hollow—and so dismissed it as part of her imagination. Goodness knows Tsubaki and Tatsuki-chan were always telling her to tone it down.

-ooo-

'_She's not reacting.' _he thought in disbelief, even as he held his death glare steady. _'What kind of person __**is **__she?'_

He narrowed his eyes and increased his intent to kill. In response, the girl rubbed her arms and looked around in confusion, before settling on him instead.

"Mister…you don't look too well," Orihime took a step towards him. "I think I should check your injuries again."

Sensing no ill will from the girl, he curiously allowed her to take one of his hands into her own. He watched as Orihime furrowed her brows before exclaiming in triumph.

"Aha!" she crowed, pointing to a small cut on the side of his thumb. "I knew I missed a spot somewhere!"

The next second, he was gaping in outright astonishment as his hand was engulfed in a sphere of soft golden light that closed up the cut and left flawless skin.

"All done!" Orihime said happily, patting his arm like an indulgent mother.

"What was that light?" he asked. It neither looked nor felt like any type of chakra he knew. The healing properties acted like medical chakra, but its sheer density was unlike any chakra he'd felt before—not even the esteemed Chiyo's _Kisho Tensei _had the feeling of such raw, potent, _limitless _power.

"It's my ability," Orihime said. "Um, but how I got it is a long story though…"

One that he would be _very _interested in hearing. But first things first…

"It seems that I have made a mistake," he said slowly. "If what you say is true, then I owe you my life."

'_And the snake shall pay with his own,' _he added darkly.

"Please allow me to take you to my village as a debt of thanks." A rare smile cracked his features. "You shall be treated as my—the Yondaime Kazekage's—personal guest in Sunagakure."

'_And once there, perhaps the Honored Siblings can be persuaded to investigate this…mystery.'_

The girl—Orihime Inoue, he reminded himself—cocked her head to one side, puzzlement written over her features.

'_Of course,' _the Kazekage mused. _'I was found without my Kage hat. It's unlikely that she would have recognized me by appearances alone.'_

Most likely Orochimaru had stolen the hat off his body to hide the evidence of his murder.

'_It must be a great shock to her. Not many have met Suna's leader face-to-face.'_

"Er, Mister Fourth…" Orihime finally spoke.

'_That's the first time I've heard anyone call me "Yondaime-san."'_

"What's the matter?" he asked.

"…what's a wind shadow?(2)"

-ooo-

(1)green robes – Yes, it's blue in the anime, but green in the manga and updated episodes….so green it is!

(2)wind shadow – Yea, Kazekage's literal translation. Orihime's going to have lots of fun with the local lingo…

**A/N: **Come on, admit it. You've wondered what a person like Orihime could do in the Narutoverse too, eh? Being friends with the _shinigami? _Raising people from the dead without _Edo Tensei? _Well, here's my take on it. This shouldn't be a long story, so I put it out here to get the plot bunny off my mind.


End file.
